Courtney Parks

uhhhhh what??

Tue, 23 Jan 2007 09:44:55 GMT

been a while since i posted... uh and its also 441am and im still awaaaake. prolly bc i slept allllllllll day today. and now my toorrow is going to suck.. oh well. shit happens.

my new place is bitchin'. life is zehr gut jaden tag!

uuuuuuuhhh someone make me sleepy, STAT!

and why am i sleeping alone tonight!? i dont like it. not for a second.

oh lord, i'm becoming one of those dependent sleepers again. shit guys!

ok ... bye

Movin' on uppp...

Wed, 06 Dec 2006 21:27:24 GMT

1 final down... 2 to go. my next one isnt until 5pm tomorrow. IM PUMPED!!

update on my life: i'm movin out of this appartment. can't really take it anymore. things turned to shit. i guess you see peoples true colors when you live in close proximity.  by no means am i the perfect roommate, but there was just too many butting heads and disagreements. like for instance the 2 cats and 2 chinchillas i disagreed with but they got anyway and how they stink and shit all over. yea and the fact that i should be charged $$$ for having ppl stay over!? i thought it was "this isnt a fucking hotel!?" isnt that contradicting... you charge ppl for a hotel.. duuuh.

now its just gettin ridiculous. i keep telling myself to keep the peace until i get out (which is gonna more than likely be friday) but i dont know how much more i can do it. its all just so petty and over little stupid shit now. we arent speaking so now there's silent battles over ketsup and handsoap... yea, im not kidding. if i bought it then its mine, but apparently thats not how things go around here bc my shit keeps disappearing!! funny. anyway... 2 more days then i will be sane again.

our new house is amazing. im living wtih people that are actually easy going, approachable and not OCD or anal over every little thing. i now wont get yelled at if i leave a beer can out and not get it in "a timely manner". i'm breaking free from mom and dad. seriously i think i would have been better off just living in trenton... i would have had less rules. and wouldnt be losing $220 of my security deposit bc i'm the one "screwing them over" when really it wasnt MY idea to move... it was one of theirs. and who's the one having to move during finals week?? who's the one still having to pay for 10 days rent of december and the heat and electric for 10 days... yea me. but yea, im the one getting fucked bc SOMEONE decided to open their mouth and state that "one of us should move out" but that same person is the one who cant afford it.

i think its pretty funny that a college graduate can't afford to live in an appartment ... oh wait maybe thats bc he sits and plays nintendo and watches cartoon network and nickelodeon allllllll fucking day and works 3 days a week. WINNER!! but i'm the one who's gettin fucked out of $220 bc it was his idea. hmm maybe rick moranis should have thought before he spoke. oh wait, i forgot he cant do that when he's alone. he always needs the other half of his vagina to function.

lord, i could go on for hours about this. im just going to be so glad to get the fuck out of here and not have to deal with them everrr again. 2 more days.... 2 more daaaaaaaaaaaaaays!! then i'll be a real college student again and can come in the house stumbling instead of having to be quite so i dont wake satan and her little bitch.

i need to study.

Sat, 25 Nov 2006 01:02:45 GMT

That this has nothing to do with you

It's personal, Myself and I

We've got some straightenin' out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket

But Ive got to get a move on with my life

Its time to be a big girl now

And big girls don't cry

Don't cry

Don't cry

Don't cry

:)

siigh

Wed, 08 Nov 2006 04:44:45 GMT

Can I get a long sigh?

It's much needed at this point. I never stress/freak out. I'm sooo close. I hate it.

c/s (haha remember grade school)

I hate over analyzing. So, I'm not going to. It's whatever.

I like how I can say it's whatever and actually mean it (sometimes). I really want to this time.

I really want to keep telling myself that it doesn't matter.

But, when I keep reiterating it about one certain thing, its starting to turn into that NOTHING seems to matter anymore.

Brain wash. Mind fuck. Yessss, I seem to love those terms and ideas. Better yet they love me.

Hmmmmm.... it's my bedtime. so much to think abouttt (or not). Or not.

just some random thoughts....

Thu, 19 Oct 2006 13:20:22 GMT

I have began to realize that I am THE worst speller in the entire world.

I am finally at a point where I am over everything. And I actually mean it. No longer am I trying to convince myself... I'm convinced.

So, last night was Josh's 21st bday... I got shit faced and didn't spend a penny. Mainly bc my wallet was lost for 2 hrs. I think it was all bc of the shoes ; )

But seriously, who buys 2 girls a 3 wiseman shot?? Lord. I almost lost it on that one haha.

Yea, I also fucked up my hair royally. I have to go get it professionally colored in like 3 weeks (i have to wait bc too many chemicals at once will make my hair fall off my head) yea, and probably get lik 3-4 inches cut off. : /

Nothing else new. I'm out.

AHHHHHH

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 15:11:14 GMT

don't you love it when ppl tell you things? of course i do... to a certain extent. then its like once i knooow the information (that i dont particularly want to know) i immediately want to erase it out of my knowledge book. yea, THIS i don't want to know. I don't want it to be real. but it is. and i'm done.

i'm done on 2 degrees. cutting off all ties. the ties that kept me hanging on for this long. they got snipped last night. on 2 occasions.

fuck a bunch of that!

seems like ive been saying that a lot lately.

i'm ready for something better.

i'm taking applications and interviewing.

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 17:44:33 GMT

so, i missed this last night and it's really unfortunate. but just pretend this is late last night

Do you remember the 21st night of september?
Love was changing the minds of pretenders
While chasing the clouds away

Our hearts were ringing
In the key that our souls were singing.
As we danced in the night,
Remember how the stars stole the night away

Ba de ya - say do you remember
Ba de ya - dancing in september
Ba de ya - never was a cloudy day

My thoughts are with you
Holding hands with your heart to see you
Only blue talk and love,
Remember how we knew love was here to stay

that's for my people. you know who you are.

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 21:20:35 GMT

Schule starts wednesday. i dont really want to talk about it. and its not just school starting... its EVERYTHING. Class, PT, ROTC lab... uuugh. guess no one knows the definition of easing into things. Full swing, all in one day. I am now an MSIII, which means that I actually have to do and learn and retain important shit. I am also a squad leader. Which doesnt really mean too much because I basically was last quarter. Just means that i now have to be responsible, I guess.

Things are better now. I was having a lil drama that I let get to me which was basically unneeded. I'm over it now, I guess. I just hate dwelling and I'm not going to do it for more than i need to.

I miss the house from last year. Seems like I am always home alone now, and I get very bored very easily. Seems like in the house, naturally with 8 ppl living there, there was ALWAYS someone there. Now I just have 2 smelly cats to look at. And hate.

Thats all i really want to say for now. I'm going to go read my book and look sofisticated on my tarrace while drinking coffee.

:/

Sat, 09 Sep 2006 19:12:51 GMT

fuck a bunch of this.

i'm starting over.

the new place...

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 12:30:02 GMT

In reference to Erin's post... i totally agree to everything. We are still going to go out and talk about how fabulous our lives are and mtv should STILL follow us.

as far as the new place, its not too bad. its just new, still. still trying to get used to everything and allow it to feel like "home". I grew accustom to Euclid and it felt cozy. Still waiting on that to happen, but ive only been here 5 days so It'll take a lil time.  all is well so far except for this fucking dog that likes to bark its head off at 8am every fucking morning and wake me up. its a good thing i had to be up this morning or else Red Pepper would have had some fresh "pork" donated to them.

we have 2 cats and a hampster. not too sure how i feel about that. i'm not so much a cat person ... AT ALL... if anyone knows me can attest to that. But the one is ok, i guess. They might grow on me. but not to the point where i would go out of my way to show affection. and the hampster cage makes the appartment smell like cedar, and that gets old quick.

i ran 6 miles yesterday and i can barely move now. i guess thats what happens when you havent doen anything for 2 weeks and decide to run the entire track at lunken. smart choice.

i am reading the Da Vinci Code. i highly suggest it to anyone who is the slightest interested in reading it. i cant put it down. if it werent for this whole process of moving my shit in and having to go to work, i would probably have it finished by now. its amazing.

i went to texas for labor day. that was incredible!! i'll have to talk about that at a later time, i must carry on my travels to trenton now to get the rest of my shit to make this place a 'home' for me.

say late for now.

fuck. this.

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 14:42:03 GMT

so you think you know someone. or in my case 2 people. or at least have some kind of fucking idea. then, everything gets turned up-side-down .... all in one day. until like 10 hrs ago i was actually happy for the first time in long time. goes to show that i shouldnt get excited about things ever.  its just a set up for disappointment.

i also love being lied to. its great. i admit im not the perfect person or anything close.... but fuck! i just dont get why it all had to come crashing down in one day.  must be karma.

i allowed myself to go through all this once before and im not going to again.

i just wish.... uuuuuuhhhhh.... i dont know what i want anymore.... i thought i did.

fuck it all. i just want a new clean slate to start the fuck over.

all i feel like saying right now is fuck. so fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuuuck fuck fuck all the fuckin whores.

i guess i expected this sort of behavior from the one person... doesnt really suprise me. but the other... it was just way out of character and suprising. shocking.

leason learned: don't read people the wrong way. better yet just dont try to read people at all so that way if you dont expect anything, then you wont get disappointed by anything.

write that down.

so ive turned into this very negative person now. its great, i love it.

i have to go to class. im allready late bc on top of everything else last night my alarms didnt go off this morning. so im going in an hr late. yaaaaaaaaay.

but first, a little song quote bc even though i shouldnt, i hear this song and thing of someone....

On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
you know, you know

That I love you
I have loved you all along
And I miss you
Been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me
and you'll never go
Stop breathing if
I don't see you anymore

in ur face!

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 03:39:26 GMT

IM 21 NOW ALL YOU SLUTS!!

i have been since thursday night at midnight... august 4th... its like a national holiday or something i heard. i could be wrong.

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 18:24:59 GMT

My puppy I had since 3rd grade was put to sleep on Monday. :(

It hasn't hit me just yet that he's gone. Next time I go home and he's not there, I might break down in tears.

it almost happened... again

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 00:32:36 GMT

so, we nearly got robbed again. if you would like to know the line of events, please read on....

i was making a sandwich for work for friday in the kitchen and i saw a shadow go along the neighbors house. im thinkin oh its the neighbors going in bc they use the side door. next thing i know, theres a big black mans face in my window fuckin lookin at me. i froze like uhhh is this really fucking happening? so he jumps back out of sight and im still standing there in shock. then he takes a double take to see if im still there. so then, delayed, my flight or fight mechinism kicks in and i fucking bolt up the stairs to my room. i had never moved so fast. luckily my friend shawna was here because otherwise i would have just crawled underneath my covers and hid for the rest of the night.

so, i spit out that someone was lookin in our window to shawna, and she goes down to the landing to a window above where he was and he was pressed up against the house still there, so she yells at him and he claims he was lookin for his friend bob. riiiight. so she tells him to leave like 8 times and then he finally leaves. so we go downstairs to check all the windows just to reassure ourselves... um i walk past the front door and the fucking glass panel is busted conviently aligned with the door knob. oh wait... correction... the plexiglass that our landloard used to replace our OTHER busted glass window was busted.

so conclusion, he had a towel on his shoulder, he used it to bust the window to silence it, then he was walking around and checking if anyone was in the house on the first floor. needless to say we called the cops, then boarded up the window with some wood, and got the fuck out of there. we all stayed at josh's. drew was ready to kill. erin and shawna and i were sooo creaped out. fucking pisses me off. oh and did i mention that theres a very great chance that it was the same fucker that got us before. i should fucking kill him for taking my tony's pizzas.

and denise said she saw a big tall bald black guy (thats the description) at staggerlees with the laptop computer that used to be in our house. but its not now, because it shockingly got stolen. so if you do the math, we have actually been robbed 3 times now. i fucking love clifton. and another thing i love is the fact of ... how many cops are there that work in cincinnati? how many uc cops are there patroling the area.. i mean im not saying that our case should be put at the top of the list bc they need to catch the guys raping babies and killing old people for groceries first... what i'm saying is this is ONE FUCKING GUY to look for... how is it that hard to find ONE FUCKING GUY when there is like 80000000 of them?? you'd think this guy was bin laden and had the whole country helping out to hide him.... but... then... wait, i think i may be on to something here...

yea, i have to go.

Crazy... that's me....

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 03:11:38 GMT

Ever hear a song and you are so infactuated by it, you just become obsessed with it and want to learn every word to it? Yea, thats me. I shouldnt say 'found' this artist, but say heard for the first time, and im pretty sure i am obsessed... could be a new one along with jason mraz.

Imogen Heap. Love her. Especially the song, goodnight and go. At first i thought it was about this girl havin a crush on this guy, then erin was sure to point it out to me that the girl was stalker like in it. but i still love it.

i got to spend a glorious weekend with fartface and mindelicous wagner (pronounced Vagner). It was much needed.

Fart-attack turns 21 in 51 minutes. I'm sure everyone is pumped.

Not too much else to say. LATE!

Why d'ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

oh yes, and did i mention that i freakin miss this one guy a whole lot right now... i bet i know who he issss....

one clue: GA.

What kind of girl do you take me for?

Wed, 05 Jul 2006 19:12:42 GMT

HAPPY JULY 4TH!!

Yesterday... duh

my 4th was pretty dull because I had to study for a fucking exam I had today that i tought was going to be fairly easy... mmm no it kicked my ass. and now i have another one tomorrow... yaaaay for summer classes!!!

Sooo the next few weeks is going to suck balllllllls. Basically all my (guy) friends that are still around are now leaving. Stutzman left today for Iraq for 18 months, Nick leaves Friday for LDAC for a month, Josh leaves Saturday for AIT for 2 weeks... and 2 more are leaving next week! what the hell am i going to do??

Summertime in Clifton basically sucks balls. I'm so ready to get out of this fucking shit hole of a town. Enough bitchin... i need to get ready for work to make that money money.

peace.

SWAMP DONKEY!!

WOOT WOOT!

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 18:52:21 GMT

Wu Tang Clan ain't nothin to fuck wit!

In spite of all the shit thats been going on (quite literally shit) I've been in a good mood here lately.

Well, that is up until I found out that my doggy has cancer :/ and will probably have to be put down sooon.

But with every situation it makes it lighter if you try to find a bright side: he is 11 years old. Big dogs don't live as long as little dogs. At least now we know whats been hurting him and making him lose weight, and there can be temporary relief for him. I just don't want him to suffer anymore. I'd much rather my mom put him to sleep (after i see him this weekend of course) rather than prolonging it.

I'm trying really hard to make myself ok with it. It sounds gay really, but i absolutely looove that dog... he's like a family member. It'd be like losing a best friend or brother or sister. hmmmm

i really wasnt intending on this being a long entry. so, bye bye.

:/

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 15:46:46 GMT

oh the twisted web i weave for myself.

i dont like it one bit.

but, i do bring it all on myself.

i do suck, indeed.

things have got to change, and so must i.

Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you

when it rains...

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 06:05:01 GMT

i.miss. him.

its days like these....

Maybe I'm changing
maybe I'm so impatient
maybe I just don't care, about what you think

cause I can never please *him*
no matter how hard I try
You know sometimes I just wanna throw up my hands and say
"ok fine"!

But life's to short she said
if it works then it works, let it go
and I'm sorry I ever got you started
when it rains, it pours and it shows

summer time

Thu, 08 Jun 2006 15:58:31 GMT

for those of you who remember (or dont fully remember) this fairly awesome night:
i just thought i'd bring back some memories, considering it is summertime AND i just enjoy the song:

belly tops, flip flops
lemonade in the shade
blue skies, hot guys
late nights, water fights
icecreams, sweet dreams
bathing suits, shootin hoops
party time, schools out
sleepin in, sneakin out!

ohhhhohhhhhhohhhhohhhhhhhhhhhhohhhhhhhooohhhhhhohhhhhhhhhhohohh ~chorus

ca-pris, cool breeze
old navy's blue jeans
the swimming pool
is nice and cool
but anal sex
is the best
hopscotch, a wet crotch
sunflower, girl power
treeforts, short shorts
topless jeeps, with my peeps!

repeat chorus

***erin and i decided that there should be an edit: instead of "anal sex is the best" um its actually "drunken sex is the best" ... well, bc it is!

TRUE STORY:

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 18:59:10 GMT

Thursday night at 430am:

Jami comes running up the stairs screaming bloody murder. so i open the door and she studders out "theres someone in the house!" so i pull her into my room and shut and lock it. i was freaked the fuck out. she tells me that she was sleeping in mindy's room on the first floor and she heard someone walking around so she turned on the bedroom light to find a 6 foot something 300lb bald black man crouching down by the bed looking through one of mindy's purses. as she turned on the light he stood up and she got out of bed and screamed. he ran out the bedroom and she ran up the stairs.

so we sit in my room for a little bit and listen to see if he is still downstairs. my dumbass calls josh and was like what do i dooo! hes like um call the fucking police. so we did. they came with in like 5 mins. we were so scared to walk down the stairs. we did like tactical movements to get down there. our house was surrounded by cops. one in the back, 2 on the side, one in the front and one at the door. turns out he wasnt in our house anymore. so the cops ask us questions as to how he couldve possibly gotten in. my guess was the basement door, but the cob webs surrounding it disproved that theory.

turns out someone left our front window unlocked and he just walked right in pretty much. you can see his ginormous foot prints on our couch. that was really freaky. so the cops asked if there was any stuff missing that we could notice. and jami and i look around and dont really notice anything, and thennn i saw on our recliner a black jacket, a bottle of our liquor, and one of my frozen dinners (glazed chicken which is my fucking favorite). turns out that was HIS jacket, and in his pocket was a dvd remote, a piece of mail, and a phone number. come to find out he did get away with denise's dvd player.

so the next day an investigator came to our house and finger printed the liquor, my glazed chicken, and the dvd remote. i got back from class with hopes of eating one of my Tony's pizzas because i was STARVING... turns out the fucker took BOTH of them too! i was like i WILL be compensated for my losses! that was a whole $6!! jokingly, obvi.

so moral of this story boys and girls: lock your windows so no big black men can come in and steal your frozen foods, liquor and dvd players, which i might add had the Elf dvd in it. fucker.

I <3 CLIFTON!! :)

"you know your stunning
absolutely stunning
and you're running always running
but I'll catch up to you"

I highly suggest downloading anything by Tristian Prettyman. She's my new obsession.

think happy thoughts...

Tue, 23 May 2006 16:15:47 GMT

well i just read through some of my previous entries, and decided that i am fucking depressing. so i decided to think of some good things going on in my life...

the fact that i am single opens up some opportunities. i can do what i want more than ever now.
i really like the song im listening to right now.
i just put limewire on my computer which makes me happy.
i got on as part time at my job so they are payin for my summer school :)
after summer school planning a vaca with a big group of friends to NC will be nice.
im getting better at running.
me and nicole have an amazing appartment together next year. it has a balcony.
i didnt get kicked out of the grail on this past wed.
i went shopping with melinda wagner on thursday.
then went shopping with nicole on sunday.
the weather has been fantabulous for the past few days.
i have a final today which means one less on finals week.

....i dont really know what else.

"yea its always better when were together
were somewhere in between together
well its always better when were together
yea its always better when were together"

hmmmm

Tue, 16 May 2006 20:42:52 GMT

mind fuck. thats what i like to call it.

its so hard trying to be strong.

all i want is to run. go right back to where i belong.

where i fit. i'm complete.

but i cant do it. i'll have to find the second best.

i hate all of this.

uuuuugggghhhh...

get me out of this down!

OMG

Tue, 09 May 2006 06:02:05 GMT

everyone around me is banging.

and i have to fucking listen to it.

all the fucking time.

oh damn it.

p.s. i heart shakira.

p.s.s Thursday :) could very well be my rebuttle. ohhh shiiiit!

and yes it is 2am on a monday (tuesday am) night. this is how exciting my life is.

yaaay for meee!

things that make you go hmmmm

Wed, 26 Apr 2006 17:31:06 GMT

dont really know what to 'hmmm' about ...

but i when i find lyrics that pretty much explain my liife uuughh ...

this is me as of now...

With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find that you have something to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

I LOSE!